Plastic Duckies and the Big & Tall Department

Plastic duck armada is heading for Britain after 15-year global voyage

Here's a feel-good story about an armada of 'rubber' duckies that has been trekking the Atlantic Ocean for the last 15 years:

"A flotilla of plastic ducks is heading for Britain’s beaches, according to an American oceanographer.

For the past 15 years Curtis Ebbesmeyer has been tracking nearly 30,000 plastic bath toys that were released into the Pacific Ocean when a container was washed off a cargo ship.

Some of the ducks, known as Friendly Floatees, are expected to reach Britain after a journey of nearly 17,000 miles, having crossed the Arctic Ocean frozen into pack ice, bobbed the length of Greenland and been carried down the eastern seaboard of the United States."

Of course then the reporter has to ruin a perfectly pleasant article with fictional references to global warming...

"Simon Boxall, of the National Oceanography Centre in Southampton, said that the ducks offered a great opportunity for climate change research. “They are a nice tracer for what the currents are doing as they travel around the world, and currents are what determines our climate, and cycles of carbon."

As well as to human pollution:

"'I would ask holidaymakers to keep an eye out, as they might be very few and far between by now. It’s a real adventure story and the plastic should last 100 years'..."

I'm surprised he didn't bring up the possibility of choking dolphins; a condition we all know can only be fixed by the World's Tallest Man.........

No One Ever Talks about the Real Heroes

Maybe you heard about this bizarre story: two dolphins at a theme park in China were choking on some plastic, and vets at the aquarium did not have a way of reaching far enough into their gullets to get the plastic out. So, they called the world's tallest man, because his arms were long enough to reach inside the dolphins and pull the plastic out.

Walter